Rested, Resigned, Returned, and Reclaimed. That's the wrap up for the year 2011. And I'm front at my workdesk (wherelse...) for the last few papers, went to bed when the supposedly fireworks noise settled down.
Well, no new hopes for the year. As always, it will not work. So, let's stop the wishful thinking, and be dead honest. Moving on, 2012 will have me returning to workforce. Hell yea, I really need cash. I'll be on a full time position, at the earliest August. No plans for any holiday, I've no budget for that. Chris asked me to join him in Seoul, but he'll be leaving by Feb. I wish too, if ever there's a sponsor. Then, GAQ exams in the month of dec. That's the rough schedule for the year ahead. I guess I still have a bit of extra time, yea, just a bit, before 2013 ricepack resolution is due. Looking at my finance track, Booo, it's down the drain la...no need to track. Finger crossed for 2013 ricepack resolution. I'm still banking on the word hope. Still will straighten out isn't it? Contradicting eh? yea, it is.
Yes! I do love being privileged. Not the privilege that you might be thinking of having some sort exclusiveness on the red carpet with my tux! Just a simple convenience.
Had a real good sight indulgence with Davier. Haha, yea..it's just another induglence. What's the point. But it's lil' different today. MI was great. Not Brad Pit! but the ever futuristic fanatics sort of scenes. Somehow, it did inspires me to really work hard on codings. Yea, it's the software that's powering up the Woa~ technology behind. I don't quite like to code, because this is the only activity that can make me sit for nights, without doing anything else besides it. It's always dreadful to code overnight, or over the weeks. I do enjoy it, in certain ways. Haha..
After the movie, we ran around Suntec to get the stuffs Davier were looking for. Hey, I should be hitting the books. But a little short indulgence wouldn't harm right. hehe! After that, we were on our way for dinner. This is when I called privileged. Siting at the passenger seat! I really like the stretch from the city area to ECP, ramped up onto Sheares bridge. The scene is just breath taking. Well, I do hope that they will keep this bridge after the new expressway. That will replace the current stretch behind MBS to Tanjong Rhu. Heard of this new expressway when I was a intern in LTA, the expressway will be pushed to the shore line bypassing the CBD area, and also yea...the Father-Of-All's favourite playground, Gardens By The Bay. Went pass Marina Bay Golf Course, had a good session with Derrick Phan once, he was training me for a day only. Geez, it's really hard. Then, down to KPE. Really long tunnel, and got out at Tampines. A chatty conversation had Davier missed the turn, and we went all the way up the Elias rd. Took a lot of time for the U-turn before ending at Bedok 85. Ah~ Bedok 85. memories! Maybe next time, I'll write on Bedok 85, and that will brings...me back to 2006.
It's privileged to me, in the sense that I get to see the ever changing lanscape of this land scare island. Most of the time, what I could see is through the windows of buses or trains. Sometimes, a cab ride back home when I was on a full time job. And sometimes, these kind of privileged moments, be it with a friend, boss, or co-worker. I really enjoy the ride. A few weeks back, I can't remember why did we ended up in tampines, I was on the ride from CCK to Sengkang or was it punggol area, then to Tampines, and then back home. Almost another round the island ride. The best round the island ride so far in record, it was a few years back, from hall to Tuas checkpoint, then to kukup, for a seafood dinner, then to JB, can't recall why we chose to return via Woodlands instead of Tuas. And so, we were in woodlands checkpoint, then ended up in Kembangan. It was really a long journey!
Moving on, when will I get a car? Well, it's in my to-do list, without a due date.
Yup! It's the Friday session again. And we were all set for our ever loud laughter. As usual, the meeting place is still at Hans, but this time, we'd a bit of issue. A big issue. Before I begin ranting on it, I'd baked some cookies for the Dhamma family, it's actually for the Christmas session. Later on, I'll be giving those to the Catholic group too. 1 stone kills how many birds...Hmm, 1 for the Dhamma family, 1 for the Catholic group, and 1 for my tummy. Wuha~ 1 stone kills 3 birdies.
That Friday turned out to be Derrick's confession. A lot of huha behind the scene. Well, he is again on the run, for some now known reasons. A few weeks back, also one of the post below, his father lodged a missing person police report. He did it again, and I think Choon Lung asked him to come down and get the matter cleared, well at least for the Dhamma Family.
I'm not buying his story to be honest. His story goes from medical condition, childhood, family violence, IMH, his dad mental issues, and to the huge family problem. It didn't make sense to me, on his complicated story of health issue, in which he said that the doctor was not able to detect the disease, and somehow he was diagnosed with that. The issue with IMH and police report was just another drama rama. Somehow the police report has an official record that he was diagnosed with some mental condition as deemed by IMH. I guess, he wanted to struck off this statement, as he believed that he had no such mental condition. It's not that I don't believe his words, nor the fiasco behind this statement. It's to me rather ironic that this statement had put in record, any right minded Sporean would know official records may cause you harm. Now, why was the statement in place at the very first place? If ever it is a false statement, I'd give in everything I could to acclaim myself, before it became a factual account.
It was indeed burdening for Derrick to reveal the family issues. He was trembling when he was jittering throughout his super fast speed in telling us the ever long history. It tied out to his childhood and to the current state of affair. Well, I shared a similar story with you Derrick. But not to the extend to the issues before birth. I don't have such a big drama rama in my case. My question is, why now? The same as Uncle Quek asked. Why is it now that you stood up? I stood up against my father at the age of 13(wow!, 13 years ago!), if i'm not wrong, and thereafter, he knew, probably it's time that the control had to be handed to the children instead. What is the motivation now? What makes you stronger now? These burning questions in my head, I don't think I'd get any reply from him.
Another mind boggling issue was Derrick's way of thinking. For me, I'd put religion as a subject on par with other subjects in the world, like history, biology, physics. Religion is just another thick fat textbook that has her scope and ideology. To be simply mindful on the breath as in vipassana, the issues we're talking here will just remain, there won't be any changes. I don't see the relation between mindfulness in breath with settling down the agitation that surrounds, and constantly bulging you. It's like isolating yourself in a cave, because you think that the world that you're living is totally absurd. On the issue with 5 khandha, the 5 aggregates. This is again, a wrong interpretation to the problem we're having here. The foundation of this bodily goes deep to the aggregates that Buddhism proclaimed. Now, how does the detachment to one of the khanda, forgot which one he mentioned, would get rid of this issue here. Again, another case of living in the cave. Never mind on the ordination, it's absolutely nuts! Seriously, give me a break.
This would be long journey for Derrick, and fortunate or not, I think the Dhamma family has been pulled in as well. If the situation called for, I guess, there is no harm to pull the strings or make some ripples on the calm sea.
It's the last project with Team 9. Yup, after weeks of struggle with this team, it has finally came to an end. To me, it's a relief. Seriously, I've been so much trouble to the stage that I need to bring in Esther to get things moving. Not just the language barrier, it's also the lesser brain cell. It's hard to get things right.
At first I thought that it's about Burmese against non-Burmese. Little did I know that, there were fractions within the Burmese. Thin Thin and Teacher were somehow glued to each other, and the rest under the hands of the cult leader. It's rude to label Min Thut as the cult leader, but honestly, to me, there is a serious cult culture going on here.
With all due respect for Min Thut, I kinda dislikes his way of doing. I'm having a big issue with his attitude, not being a team member, but what makes things worst, advocates separacy! It's even rather odd to see Zin to be his follower. To the extent that, Arka labeled him as Min Thut's right hand man. I don't appreciate that. If it's to be a team, there will be only one team. It is unnecessarily to have your cult group, your way of doing. With that, I've long left Min Thut and Zin one side, and continued on to work what I believe to be a team.
Among the many coding projects, the last project, which is the Android project was the best so far. I guess things would work very well with minimal exchanges, minimal discussion. Never mind that we're not working together, so long we have the result. I managed to code up the simple Android project, 2 activities, what else, and over the night, along with Thin Thin and Teacher. The next morning, the baton was passed to the rest to follow up, in whichever way they wanted to do. I turned out late for the demo, intentionally or not, doesn't really matter. But I was taken off that Min Thut couldn't answer well, and they focused more on the login page than the core. Funny how things were run here. What I do know, my work was changed to suit their taste, new ip, new text-to-object parsing method. I admit that the parse method, which I did, is clumsy. Anyway, in whichever way they wanted it, so long the core is still there. The demo ended when I came in, understood that it was just a 5 min demo. Well, hopefully Derek will grade us highly.
Come back to the ending of Team 9, it was a mess. It was tragic in some sense, on how the dynamics of the group works changed. I see very little possibility to work again with Team 9, especially with Min Thut. We just couldn't get things right. Well, if one side who is trying to ping hard, what to do when you just couldn't get a pong reply.
It is yet another group assignment, a failed project. Hopefully, it will be the last one. No Android please with this team. It has indeed casted some spell on this team, somehow things just can't be right. Even my beloved activity, to code, has somehow shaken by the fact that it's the human issue. And again, the human issue...
Things didn't turned out well after the counseling session. To me, there is nothing to be ashamed of. What I do believe, is to look at the problem objectively. If there is a problem, it is a problem. Probably that's why I have to come to a confrontment with the issue. It is perhaps uninviting to see how Min Thu & his followers reacted the way. Even Thel Su, the nice girl joined suit. To see this team further divides, the gap just gets bigger, and so is the friendship. It is to me, a tragic, to have come to this stage that. I, sort of become the hatred object. Partly, it is due to my stubbornness, and not able to turn away all agitation, and largely, the inherited ever large ego. haha...like what Sylvia Bay will say. FLARE.! haha... I do miss them.
It is indeed a sad moment, when i was dropped dead taking a much needed map, the noise of Burmese language cum badly spoken English echoed though my ears. Even though, i may not have understood a word of them, at least the euphoria and the energy did hinted that i'm the target. Massive critics shoot at me for not joining the integration. Yea, that's the pain i suffered a few projects back when no one cares about integration, but literally their self joined integration. Good try huh. Till now, self joined integration is still preferred, and it's just so happened that it's at the last hour before dateline. I have no idea, why they can't see through the mistakes and make improvement to it.
Well, this is a failed project. As for my part of work, I think I've only achieved the minimum. Not familiar with web programming, especially on RIA. So called web developer, *chuckle* Haha... this is a piece of real shitty work, where point A doesn't point to any other point, if it's suppose to point to point B. On the broad level, in terms of team work, and team spirit, there is absolutely none, but within cults or grouping within the team, there is highly. Rather unfortunate. Uber failure...how can you not see who are the competitors. And yet, Min Thut stood on hard not to have any interference to my work. His strong protest, as a cult leader, against the poor me. Well, I say I'll call. Who would be the biggest loser.
Back to the same old story with the bunch of crooks. But it's a real good reflection on me. How big I've become, how egoistic i'm, and how certainly, a joke!
This week was a havoc. A presentation on Monday, follow by 4 days of grilling on Java. I can't seems to recall the moment of anguish for the bloody Monday, which I've to say, it's a real challenge. Nonetheless, I think I've managed well, and after that I'm fastened by a safety belt for a rocket launch in Java.
I can't imagine that my codes were ripped, raped, and shredded into pieces. In my view, that really happened. I felt sad over the codes, the effort, and the time spent on it. Perhaps, it was unavoidable. Yea, I belongs to the minority, and I just couldn't understand a word of Burmese. I didn't appreciapte Thin Thin's comment that my work is not industrial standard. Immediately, I shot an email to Derek to clarify the difference working in Design View and hard coding. If there was a standard, why do you need human to do coding. Well, Thin Thin has worked in an IT firm before, maybe sort of the company standards, which I don't bothered that much. It's boring to deal with standards. It's like shaping your idea into standard boxes. What's the point. With that, there seems to be not much space to work with them, I prefer wild ideas over replications, most importantly think on your feet rather than standardization.
Min Thut on the hand, he is the master of all. It's really tiring to help him to fine tune his focus. At one point we're discussing on problems of the system, he brought up a system feature. And, at one instance when we're reviewing specification documents, he dived into problem identification, picking up bits and bits of technical aspect. There're much more than technical details. It's very hard to talk to a person who is strictly machine like minded. Arka and I gave him a new name, the cult leader, because it seems like everyone else is following his path.
In the end, hands off, I'm done with what I'm suppose to finish, and practically left it aside. Thin Thin rejected my offer to come to work together, and she prefers to work alone and/or with her Burmese buddies. *Shrugs* Thereafter, I just let everything go. What turns out on Monday, was a horrying sight. I think it's just pathetic, Swatha too commented that it looks uncoordinated. Yea, Thin Thin went on with her design, and picking up pieces of here and there in my codes, and declared as her work. What a joke. It was a slap onto my face.
The shopping cart project is due coming Monday. As usual, what will be marked as final product is still unknown. I'm just gonna rant all about it. Seriously, what is this.... Heck~
Well, in terms of number, I'm belong to the minority. I had a bit of fair share trying get the project going, but it seems that the other side doesn't really want to go with the minority. The odd is pretty clearly 2 against 5. It is not the case of the people getting divided, I didn't want it to happen. In fact, I hate it when people set themselves into groups. Unfortunately, 1 of the 5 wanted it, and declared openly. Perhaps, this arrangement would be better.
I was in luck to able to get comments from one of the 5, in which i'm dying for it, response, and feedbacks. The comments were my work is not industrial standard, the codes doesn't work. It may be true that my work doesn't go inline with industrial standards, because the commentor has worked in the IT industry previously. After finding out from Derek, the claim turns out to be baseless, well if there's really a sort of standard style of work here. The codes doesn't work, and it will never be working if you don't understand it right? It was mind boggling. After fiddling the way through, I realize that it's the connection string that was causing the problem. So, the question is, what is really not working? Is the code not working, or the connection string here. Regretably, she chose the easiest solution by banishing my work. I was sad by the fact that my work was turned down because it was not machine independent.
It was a long struggle with this team. Since the beginning, it's always the case that we don't really get the focus right, and we'd have to spend tremendous effort to fine tune the focus. I got really tired with it. Sometimes I lost my way, and my patience too. It doesn't matter that we'd fiery exchanges, and at some time, we'd to apologize to each other. It's good in many ways that we understood the differences, how to path the way, how to deal with difficult situation, and how to position yourself when the situation calls for it.
It makes no point at this moment to run another team project together. It is beyond me. It's becoming obvious that there's kinda cult culture here, where 4 of the 5 will conjures to 1 figure head, to an extend that permission was asked to kick start a task. To me, this is ridiculous, when a person cannot stand on his feet.
Haha..Ignorance, expectation. What do you think huh. Haha... I cannot stop laughing with this title, the sleeping child. And yes, still sleeping.
Received my grades today for the 2 exam papers. I didn't get what I've expected. Underlined, expected. Expectation huh.. haha. 1 of the grade came close, the other one went far out. Hmm, overestimated. Well, not really happy to put on the current cap, not the number that I wanted. Perhaps, I was overly confident. Confident that my "premitive" answer will be accepted. I guess, it didn't happened as I wished. Looking at the bright side, yes sleeping child, the bright side, the number is very well above minimum, and far above the required. That's good enough for the next race, which will be the final race.
The system has not erased 4 years record of the cap that I wore. In which, I would always peek-a-boo. Haha, laugh...*shrugs* Sometimes, at some random thoughts, thinking back of the 4 years, I did wish that things would turn out differently. And perhaps, it's not that bad afterall huh?! haha...Anyway, wishful thinking aside, not going to help much, gotta wake up and move move move.
